The Princess Bride
by Scandiadream
Summary: NOT your usual MKR/fairy tale crossover!


The Princess Bride 

Not your usual MKR/fairy tale crossover! 

by Scandiadream scandiadream@hotmail.com 

Disclaimer- MKR characters belong to CLAMP. The Princess Bride was written by S. Morgenstern and abridged by William Goldman. I wrote this crossover, me being an eternal dreamer. 

Introduction 

Clef was setting up breakfast for Emeraude and Ferio. It was a schoolday, but only Emeraude came down the stairs today.   
"Where's your brother?"   
"He woke up very ill. He feels tired and has a fever."   
"Then it is better that he does not go to school." 

Clef and Emeraude had breakfast, then Emeraude headed towards school when Zagato and Lantis arrived to pick her up. Then Clef went to check upon Ferio- while the little prince slept easily, today he looked too uncomfortable to do so.   
"Here Ferio, I will read you a story so that you can relax."   
"Yay! Read 'The Three Little Pigs' first, then 'The Bremen Musicians'" Ferio asked for his two favorites.   
"Actually, I will read you this one. It's one of your sister's favorites- 'The Princess Bride'"   
"Sounds just like something Emeraude would love" Ferio replied.   
And a little light went on inside Clef. He began narrating the story. 

Chapter 1- The Bride 

At the time of this story, the most beautiful woman in Cephiro was named Alcyone. She owned a tavern and had many many suitors. 

Of course, our young heroine Emeraude knew who Alcyone was, but had never met her in person. Emeraude was a maiden of character and would not associate herself with such people. What she did not know either was that she was also the second most beautiful woman in Cephiro. And she did not care much about her looks.   
In fact, she was much more interested in books. And in riding her horse, Napoleon. And in talking to the Farm Boy. 

"Farm boy, could you please bring me some water?"   
"As you wish." 

The Farm Boy's real name was Zagato, but nobody ever called him that. In fact, Emeraude had never heard her parents call him by his real name, even though he had been around since she was little so they had grown up together. He tended the many acres of farm for Emeraude's parents- and he did so good a job that the owners decided to reward him with some acres of his own in their will. And what Emeraude's parents did not suspect was that their daughter and the farm boy had fallen in love with each other- not that the youngsters were consciously aware of it either. 

"But first, I must seek fortune and knowledge in the world. And then, I shall return."   
"Please write me! Write me every month, or more if you can!"   
"As you wish. And please call me Zagato from now on. Good bye, Emeraude"   
"Good bye Zagato! Take care!" 

Zagato wrote two letters, but after that, Emeraude did not hear from him. Since she knew he was a man to keep his promise, she worried that something bad had happened to him. 

What was worse was the surprise Emeraude would receive soon. 

Chapter 2- The groom 

"Son, your father and I both have terminal illnesses. You must take the throne, and in order to do so you must marry" Queen Bella told her son, Prince Humperdinck, Crown Prince of Cephiro.   
"Well, I already have someone in mind. She is the most beautiful woman of Cephiro."   
"I do not care if she is the most beautiful one! You are NOT marrying a tavern lady! Tyrone, who is the second most beautiful woman in Cephiro then?" the elderly King asked Count Tyrone Rugin, cousin of the Prince.   
"Her name is Emeraude. She is the daughter of a farmer." Tyrone stated. He would be second in command after the prince, as well as leader of the royal cavalry.   
"Search for her" 

Prince Humperdinck and Count Tyrone visited the Maimonides farm in order to ask for Emeraude's hand in marriage. But the farmer and his wife would not consent to it, even if Humperdinck was the prince.   
"That is up to Emeraude to decide."   
They called for Emeraude. The maiden had grown very melancholic upon not hearing about her beloved Farm Boy for so long. But she still looked extremely beautiful.   
"Alas, you are even more beautiful than what Tyrone told me. Emeraude, will you be my queen?"   
"I refuse." Emeraude stated assertively.   
"What is this? Nobody may refuse the Prince." Humperdinck was angry.   
Emeraude's parents assumed it was because their daughter knew better than marry someone she did not know or for money. Yet Emeraude thought about Zagato every day. 

"You will marry the Prince. Or else we have the power to imprison, banish, or even execute her."   
"Please give her some time to think about it." the farmer's wife asked.   
Humperdinck and Tyrone left.   
"Emeraude, run away to Autozam tonight. It is the land of opportunity and nobody will question where you come from" the farmer told his daughter. "Here, have some food and money". 

And Emeraude rode Napoleon as fast as she could, hoping to escape death or a fate worse than it. 

Chapter 3- The Escape 

Emeraude was exhausted and lay down to sleep under a tree in the woods. But unfortunately, some people found her.   
"Why, it is just a young lady." the leader, an astonishingly beautiful woman said.   
"Please don't hurt me!" Emeraude asked.   
"We won't. You look pretty harmless." a very tall and muscular blond man said.   
"We'll just take your money." an exotic looking woman added.   
"You can have it. Wow, you must be Alcyone, the most beautiful woman of Cephiro."   
"That would be me. Tavern life got boring, so my henches and I are just looking for trouble. Now you can be our hostage."   
"Gee I don't know, Alcyone, I think she may be the one we are looking for." the exotic looking woman added. "What is your name?"   
"Emeraude"   
"I'm Caldina. I am out to get revenge for the death of my parents. A man with six fingers killed them, and now I will avenge them!"   
"I am Lafarge. Everyone rejected me due to my size, so I have no choice but to follow Alcyone."   
Emeraude did not feel comfortable around Alcyone, but could tell that Caldina and Lafarge were good people at the bottom of their hearts. Plus the four would not wander around much longer. 

"I am the terrible Pirate Lantis! Surrender!" a dashing young man with a mask showed up in the middle of their path.   
"Nobody talks to Alcyone like that. Besides, we're broke."   
"I do not want your money. I want the maiden." he said in an accented voice.   
"More rascals want ME? What do they see in me, if I am just a farmer's daughter?" Emeraude thought.   
"I dare you to a match. If you win, you can have the maiden. If you lose, we keep her."   
"Hey, I am not some sort of possession. I refuse to go with either of you."   
"Sorry mademoiselle, but this is a match I WILL win."   
It did not take long for Lantis to defeat Alcyone.   
"You win. I will go back to my tavern. There are more handsome fellows approaching me there anyway. Farewell, Caldina and Lafarge." Alcyone departed. 

"Lantis the terrible horrible pirate, don't you dare touch me! In fact, get the hell out of here NOW!"   
"As you wish" the masked man replied, his voice not accented anymore.   
Could it be?   
"Farm boy! Zagato!" Emeraude ran after him. He turned around, removed his mask, let his hair down, and ran to the woman he loved with open arms.   
They kissed each other's faces with fervor.   
"Is that why you did not write me? Were you really captured by the nasty Pirate Lantis?"   
"Oh no. He gave me that position when he retired. And he was not even the original Pirate Lantis. I was just avoiding getting caught. I did hear the news about that Humperdinck wanting to marry you."   
"I do not care about the law, I will NOT marry him." Emeraude replied happily while squeezing Zagato's hands.   
"Is there something I should know?" Caldina entered the lovers' conversation.   
"I am not marrying Prince Humperdinck. Zagato is the one I love." Emeraude was in tears.   
"I do not blame you. Even though he is loaded, he disgusts me to no end." Caldina said in support.   
"Zagato, I was hoping to run away to Autozam, but I got caught by Alcyone's gang. But Caldina and Lafarge are good people who were just led astray by her. Come, let's flee. My life is in danger, and so is yours."   
"I will protect all of you. I am bigger than Humperdinck." Lafarge said.   
"I am still tempted to find the six-fingered man who killed my parents. But maybe he ran to Autozam fleeing the law as well." Caldina added. 

Chapter 4- The Preparations 

Unfortunately, the Cephiro borders were guarded by the royal army in order to catch anyone. The foursome were disguised, but Count Tyrone recognized Emeraude.   
"Lady, you will be marrying Prince Humperdinck."   
"Not if I can prevent it."   
Zagato and Lafarge pulled out their swords. And Caldina being also a skilled fighter, attacked. But they were no match for the royal cavalry. Tyrone took all four of them prisoners, and led Emeraude to Humperdinck but put the other three in the dungeon. 

"Cephiro, meet my future wife and your future queen, Emeraude" Humperdinck proudly stated. Emeraude looked and was miserable. 

Meanwhile, Tyrone prepared the rack in order to torture Zagato to death, now that he knew that he was the one that Emeraude truly loved.   
"It is bad enough that Emeraude rebukes Humperdinck. But having her love someone, that we will NOT allow!"   
And he charged the rack in order to try to stretch Zagato. But alas, it was broken! Seemed that it was done on purpose, since there were missing screws rather than naturally splintered or rusted parts. But since nobody had been seen entering the torture chamber recently, Tyrone did not pay it much thought.   
"If I cannot torture you to death, then I will just kill you quickly. As long as you are gone, Emeraude will have to give herself to Humperdinck."   
Tyrone tied up Zagato to the electric chair and gave him the largest jolt of electricity he could. But what he did not realize was that with all those festivities going on in the palace in preparation for the wedding, too much electricity was already being drawn out, and thus this shock barely knocked Zagato out.   
Tyrone washed his hands and quickly left hoping to eat some of the food being served. 

"Humperdinck, the intruder is dead. I had to use the electric chair though- apparently someone broke the rack successfully." Tyrone told his cousin.   
"Well, whether he died quickly or slowly does not matter. He is DEAD now, and nobody can interrupt my wedding now." Humperdinck said arrogantly.   
Emeraude overheard this, and she could feel her heart breaking into two. Now there was absolutely no reason to live. 

Lafarge and Caldina had escaped their dungeon by picking the lock with one of Caldina's hairpins. They entered the torture chamber, thinking that the undeserved punishment was still going on. But they simply saw him lying on the floor.   
"Oh no, they could not have..."   
"Look, he's breathing and has color in his face and hands."   
And indeed, Zagato was alive. But due to the jolt, he could not move or talk.   
"We shall take him to the doctor." 

Clef and Presea were the village physician and apothecary. They did not live too far away from the palace, so the trio were able to sneak out and enter their house without being seen by the feasting royals.   
"I can give him medicine to cure his physical ailments. But he will not survive unless he has something he wants to live for. Tell me young man, is there something worth living for." Clef asked.   
"True love" Zagato muttered with the little strength he had recovered.   
"And he will not only survive, but live!" Presea said joyfully.   
Clef and Presea tended Zagato's wounds and gave him a remedy to restore his energy. Two days later, he insisted on going.   
"But Zagato, you can barely walk, and even though you can move your arms they are not strong yet."   
"Does not matter. My true love is in peril. She will marry someone she does not love tonight, unless I can prevent it." Zagato was extremely worried.   
It did not take Clef and Presea much to figure out what he meant.   
"Carry him to the palace. We will do our part." 

Caldina and Lafarge helped Zagato walk to the palace. Riding a horse would have been faster, but they had to make sure nobody saw them, or else they would die. 

Chapter 5- The Wedding 

"My wedding day. It should be the happiest day of a woman's life. Yet it is the saddest for me. But I will not dirty myself" Emeraude said. Only she knew what she meant by that last statement. 

Meanwhile, Presea and Clef were talking to someone important.   
"Priest Ascot, please give the longest and deepest homily you can think of. A royal wedding cannot have just a regular ceremony." Presea suggested to the young priest that would marry the prince and his fiancee.   
"Oh, King Lotharon has already requested me do so. He and the Queen want Prince Humperdinck to hold his horses." Ascot chuckled, not knowing how serious this was. 

And at the same time, Zagato, Caldina, and Lafarge entered the chambers where the new royal couple would reside. Even Lafarge recoiled at the thought. Why was there a dagger on top of the dresser?   
"That bastard better not try to kill my sweet Emeraude! I'm pretty sure he does not love her and is marrying her just to take the throne!" was Zagato's thought about the dagger. He had recovered almost all his strength, and his love for her was now driving her to get even better.   
"Hence you will be here to prevent that. Plus we will also attack him." Lafarge said.   
"Here, I think taking a bath will give you more energy. And you don't want Emeraude to see you dirty and weary, do you? Hey, looks like you and the Prince wear the same size!" Caldina said, tossing Zagato a full change of every clothing item. 

Lafarge stood guard, but Caldina went to the ceremony and hid among the large crowd in the church. 

First walked in Priest Ascot and Prince Humperdinck. Not even his finest attire and best grooming could make him look like a person whose beauty radiated from within. Then the King and Queen walked in very slowly. Emeraude's parents came next, but anyone could tell they did not quite approve of this nor did it on their own free will. And finally, Emeraude entered- her face covered by a thin veil and her body showing a white wedding gown. 

"Dearly beloved, we are gather to celebrate the nuptials of Prince Humperdinck of Cephiro to Mademoiselle Emeraude Maimonides. It is a very joyful occasion for our kingdom, since now..."   
"Hurry up" Humperdinck whispered to Ascot.   
"No you won't! Follow the rites!" King Lotharon told the priest, as if he had heard what his son said. 

The water had given Zagato some more vitality, but after he dressed up he still needed to rest in bed.   
"I will not allow this to happen. Lafarge, you go stop that wedding. That Humperdinck will put up a fight." 

"Do you, Humperdinck, take this woman, Emeraude, to be your lawful wedded wife, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"   
"I do"   
"And do you, Emeraude, take this man, Humperdinck, to be your lawful wedded husband, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"   
"Forgive me Zagato, I have a plan" she thought. "I do" she said.   
"Is there anyone here who objects to this marriage? Speak now or forever hold your peace." Ascot said, hoping someone would.   
"Well, I object!" Caldina stood up. "He does not love her. He wants to kill her after the wedding, so that he is rightfully king, change the laws, and marry Alcyone. After all, she is the most beautiful woman in Cephiro, and Emeraude here is only second most beautiful."   
What was scary is that Caldina did not exactly pull that out of her sleeve, but she thought the dagger she saw in the royal chamber would be used for that. After all, Alcyone told her that the prince did show an interest in her. She did not know this was not what the dagger was for, and that the real purpose was even sadder.   
"There is no proof to that, nor reasonable suspicion" Tyrone said. "Continue the wedding".   
"I am sorry mademoiselle. The wedding shall proceed" Priest Ascot said.   
"Then I declare you..."   
"Husband and wife! YES!" Humperdinck exclaimed.   
Emeraude thanked her lucky stars that the Autozam tradition of kissing the bride at the altar had not quite caught on in Cephiro. 

The newlywed couple walked out to the banquet in their honor. The crowd followed. 

Chapter 6- The Honeymoon 

"Hey buster, I saw a dagger in the royal wedding chambers. Why would a dagger be kept in such a romantic place other than to kill the bride?" Caldina asked Tyrone as he walked to the hall.   
"There are many daggers spread through all the palace. The prince is fond of them." Tyrone turned around to face Caldina...and showed his right hand that had six fingers. Caldina gasped in horror.   
"You are the six-fingered man! My name is Caldina Shah! You murdered my parents. PREPARE TO DIE!" Caldina pulled out the scimitar she always carried.   
"They were do-no-gooders. They deserved their death" Tyrone pulled out his sword.   
"You bastard!!!!!" Caldina charged in rage. And she stabbed him right through the heart.   
"I don't care if I go to prison. My parents are now avenged". 

Meanwhile, the banquet was coming to an end. Prince Humperdinck hoped to now lead Emeraude to their new chambers.   
"Please excuse me. I need to refresh myself" Emeraude requested to go ahead. Humperdinck wanted her to look beautiful, so he stayed behind bragging to his guests.   
But instead, Emeraude just entered the suite. She approached the dresser and held the dagger in her hand.   
"Please forgive me. It is better to die than to stain my purity or live with someone I despise." Emeraude said while aiming the dagger at her heart.   
"I don't think so! A life so beautiful cannot be ended just like that." a familiar voice said from under the bed.   
"Zagato! You are alive!" Emeraude hopped into the bed and embraced her beloved. "They had told me you had died, hence I lost all hope."   
"They did think I was dead. But I was just unconscious, and I escaped with my friends' help."   
While the outfit Zagato was wearing was just one of the suits made for Humperdinck to wear on any given Sunday, he looked so handsome in it that anyone would have thought he was the groom and not Humperdinck.   
"I wish I had married you and not Humperdinck" Emeraude told Zagato while she held him.   
"Actually, you did NOT marry him. Priest Ascot did not declare you husband and wife. Plus you clearly did not consent on your own free will." Lafarge said while entering the room. "Zagato, Humperdinck is coming. Emeraude, please hide." 

Humperdinck proudly entered his chamber, hoping to make Emeraude his soon. But instead, he saw Zagato sitting on the bed. Lafarge grabbed Humperdinck and pinned him down to a chair.   
"Prince Humperdinck. I could kill you now if I wanted to. I could just wipe you out of existence so that you would not bother Emeraude anymore. However, I would not do that. First I would cut your tongue so that you could not say nasty words about anyone anymore. Then I would cut your arms, so that you could not hit anyone, and your legs so that you could not trample over your citizens like you have done so far. And I would slash your face so that you become ugly. But I would not blind you, so that you could see the reactions of people horrified at seeing you. And I would not hurt your ears either, so that you could hear them mocking you in return for all the nasty things you have said about this. I could do all of this. But I won't. I will not stoop down to your level." Zagato said.   
"But if you ever dare approach Emeraude or Zagato again, you WILL suffer."   
"Son, I can not believe you blackmailed a woman into marrying you. I am still the king, and I forbid you from ever approaching her again." the elderly King Lotharon said as he entered the room.   
"And so do I" Queen Bella added. "And she is NOT your wife- Priest Ascot has to declare you husband and wife, not you."   
Prince Humperdinck scuttled away. 

But the night was far from over. Ascot realized that he now had a second wedding to perform, one that he was actually happy to celebrate.   
"Emeraude, Zagato, by the power invested upon me, I declare you husband and wife."   
And what nobody was expecting happened now. Zagato lifted Emeraude's veil...   
There have been five kisses that broke record because of how amorous they were. This one took the new record.   


Epilogue 

"How sweet. No wonder my sister likes it so much." a sleepy Ferio said.   
"Now you rest Ferio. Hope you feel better soon." Clef tucked Ferio in and went to eat.   
Ferio glanced at the clock. Had he been feeling well he would have been just coming back home from school. He looked out the window.   
"Lantis! Lantis!" Ferio tried to catch his friend's attention without anyone else hearing.   
Lantis looked up to Ferio's window.   
"Go!" Ferio made a hand motion telling Lantis to head back home first.   
"Ferio, your fever is getting to you?" Lantis thought, since Ferio usually made comments about what usually would happen next. But he still went on.   
"Is that the ice cream wagon I hear? Gotta get a bite, see you at home!" Lantis ran off.   
And Ferio now saw what made his sister so happy.   
"I love you."   
"I love you too"   


THE END   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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